I was recently listening to Fresh Air on NPR with two guys who wrote/directed Toy Story 3. The interview was interesting, but something they said was difficult to swallow. They were on about about how the premise of the movie is Andy going off to college and making a decision about the fate of his toys. The creators aimed this dilemma at two audiences; children who face similar tough decisions in life, but also for the fear parents can feel about becoming obsolete in their children's life. Not unlike the toys, parents give everything they have to their children - it becomes their purpose in life. When the child grows up and becomes independent, the parents can fear the loss. I never had the perspective to see life this way...
My parents gave 18 years of dedicated service to me, and come college, I vanished - poof - leaving behind only old clothes, dusty trophies, and an empty bed. I was too caught up in the excitement of change and the thrill of living an "independent" lifestyle to see it through someone else's eyes. My best comparison is trying to imagine Sonoma leave our house for a long period, never mind move across the country, regardless of what awaits her on the other side - for better or worse. I get myself worked up even thinking about such a scenario. And she's only three. And a dog.
Mom and Dad, sorry that was so hard, but thank you for letting me go, risking the fact that I may never return. You had the ability to look beyond your own fears to ensure that I could accomplish my own path in life, because you love me that much. It's a form of the old adage "If you love someone let them go...".
Just so you know, you'll never be obsolete. In fact, you are more alive in my behaviors, mannerisms, ideals, morals, decisions, humor, political views, parenting skills - you name it - then ever before. I have embodied your love and hold it close in my daily life. I am more like my parents than I'd ever like to admit!
Just so you know, not a day passes where our family, and specifically you Mom and Dad, don't come into my thoughts and considerations. Accepting me as the person I am is a gift from you in every sense of the word. So thank you. Thank you for the support, strength, and guidance. You are not obsolete. You will always help define my life.
Just so you know, you are forever an integral part of me and I love you.
Buddy - we are very proud of you (and Sarah & Josh). The separation is hard, but knowing that our children have grown into such fine young adults makes it so much easier. I really miss talking to you and can't wait to put my arms around you at Christmas time. Mom & I love you all so much and want you to know that we are always "there" for you. Give Crystal a hug and kiss for us. Mom & I need a minute to dry our eyes...
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